I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So much Jack, so little girl.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
