return my video game
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
