I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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