shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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