Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
