Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Small penises have feelings too.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
