That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
