I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
