You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
