You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
