maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There r osticjed everywhere
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
