weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
