i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
