I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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