Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
