Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize