My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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