what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
