we're making bets on your personal life
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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