so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
