Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
