i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Non-Jews are for practice
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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