in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
