Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize