i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
