Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
