Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
