I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
