Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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