I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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