Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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