In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She is in my trunk
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
