flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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