So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
