Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize