arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I need a burrito and a hug.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
