Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
