Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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