'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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