he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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