The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
