The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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