just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
