I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
