I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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