fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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