I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
