I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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