after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
