I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize