Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
50% drunk capacity currently
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
