I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
