They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
