We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
