my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
