Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
