In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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