The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
