He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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