sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
