I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
