I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
