I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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