its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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