Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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