I CAN MOONWALK!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
